parenting

A mom placed her baby for adoption. Years later, she asked that child to be her flower girl

“I remember thinking, ‘I can’t believe she’s here with me.’”

Jessica Harris was a 24-year-old single mom and newly sober when she became pregnant in 2019. 

At the time, Harris and her toddler son Tristan were living in a one-bedroom apartment in Minnesota, and relying on spotty public transportation after her license was suspended due to a DWI.

“I was on the struggle bus. It was not a good situation,” Harris tells TODAY.com.

When Harris told her unborn baby’s father, a professional athlete, that she was expecting a child, she says he advised her to get an abortion. Harris says he was worried a baby would hurt his career.

“It’s so sad but in the back of my head, I was like, ‘Maybe he’ll come around and we’ll be a happy family,’” Harris, 30, recalls. After it became clear that he wasn’t going to change his mind, Harris made the decision to place her daughter for adoption.

Jessica Harris
Kelly and Drew Moyer were in the delivery room when Jessica Harris gave birth to their daughter, Sloane. (Courtesy Jessica Harris)

Harris worked with a local adoption agency to find loving parents for her little girl, and was immediately drawn to Kelly and Drew Moyer, who she says built a home "centered around Christ and his teachings." The couple’s adoptive son, Graham, was biracial, just like the baby that Harris was carrying. All parties wanted an open adoption, which allows a birth parent to remain in the child’s life.

“I felt the Lord shining his light on this family,” Harris says. “I had to meet them.”

Harris fell instantly in love with the Moyers. And the feeling was mutual. Kelly quickly become a big sister figure to Harris.

“Kelly would always say, ‘Jess, we love you. If you decide to keep your baby, that makes us happy, because we want you to be happy,’” Harris recalls. "And I knew she really meant it. That's the kind of people they are."

Kelly Moyer cut Sloane's cord after she was born. Courtesy Jessica Harris

When Harris gave birth in Feb. 2020, Kelly and Drew were in the delivery room cheering her on and never leaving her side.

The Moyers, who did not struggle with infertility but felt called by God to adopt, shared two baby names with Harris —Lydia and Sloane — and asked her to choose one.

Harris picked Sloane. Then the Moyers took it a step further and gave Sloane Harris’s middle name: Elizabeth. 

During the first few months of Sloane’s life, Harris was a regular visitor at the Moyers home.

“I was pumping for Sloane and would come over with stashes of milk,” Harris says. “I felt like I was giving her something, even though I wasn’t physically there.”

When Harris moved to Florida in 2022, the Moyers came to visit two months later to make sure she was settling in OK, and to let her know that their relationship wouldn't change because of distance. When Harris got married in June, Sloane was her flower girl. 

“The fact that they came to my wedding all the way in Mexico,” Harris says. Her voice breaks and she starts to cry. “I wasn’t expecting it. I told them I was getting married and the next day I get a call, ‘Alright. We’re there. They want this relationship just as much as I do.”

“Jess is family to us,” Kelly Moyer tells TODAY.com. “We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” 

In a video that is going viral on Instagram, Harris is seen meeting Sloane right after giving birth. The clip then jumps to a beautiful scene where Harris is in her wedding dress twirling Sloane.

“Open adoptions are based on hope, faith & trust. Trusting your heart, trusting the adoptive families, trusting the birth mom.. & most importantly trusting God,” Harris captioned her reel. “Grateful for my daughter’s parents for supporting & encouraging us to create these special memories together. Even if that means flying out the country for our wedding!! love you guys & love our girl so much”

The sweet moment is forever etched in Harris's memory.

"Hearing her ask, 'Jess will you dance with me?' was the best feeling," Harris says. "I remember thinking, 'I can't believe she's here with me.'"

Harris and her husband, Antonio, who she met at church, share two sons: Tristan, 6, and Isaiah, 16 months. Antonio legally adopted Tristan.

Jessica Harris
Harris lives in Fort Meyers, Florida, with her husband, Antonio, and their sons. (Courtesy Jessica Harris)

Sloane is now 4 and loves FaceTiming with “Jess.”

“The other day we were chatting and she took the phone into her little tent and announced, ‘I’m talking to Jess by myself!’” Harris laughs. 

Jessica Harris
Jessica Harris placed Sloane for adoption at birth. (Courtesy Jessica Harris)

For her first day of preschool, Sloane wore a top that was a gift from Harris. 

“I asked her what she wanted to wear for first day and she said, ‘the Jess shirt,’” Kelly Moyer says.

"Open adoption is the only way," Kelly says. "It is so much better for adoptees to know their origin and be loved by their birth family."

After Harris shared the moving story behind her flower girl, the video went viral with more than 13 million views.

"How amazing! Baby girl gets two families who love her and relationships with both and was blessed with an amazing upbringing. What a selfless thing you did," one person wrote in the comments.

Added another, "We adopted our daughter in an open adoption as well. She is so close to her birth parents, birth brothers and now niece and nephews. It’s like we have a giant family now! So glad you all have done the same, too." 

This article first appeared on TODAY.com. Read more from TODAY here:

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