Cameron Rogers went on an “apology tour” after she had her first child.
“I realized I hadn’t properly supported my postpartum friends,” Rogers, now a mom of two, tells TODAY.com. “I gave them baby gifts, but what they needed was for me to show up for them. It's one of those things that you don't understand until you're in it yourself. You have no idea what they're going through."
It's a topic “Conversations With Cam” podcast host, 33, addressed in a recent Instagram video.
"I get asked a lot, what is the best gift you can give someone postpartum," Rogers explained in the clip. "The number one thing is always food, but this is my number two."
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Moments later, a text message appears on the screen.
The message reads:
“Good morning love! I am yours from the hours of 12 to 3 tomorrow so please let me know how you would like to use me. Here are some options:
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1. I come while you hang with the baby and I do laundry, bottles, cooking, buy and put away groceries.
2. I come and take care of the baby while you sleep in your room alone or you go do something by yourself or you guys go out to lunch the two of you without the baby.
3. I come and take you out to lunch with or without the baby.
4. And we sit on the couch and just chat or watch a funny movie with the baby.
You can decide whenever you want just let me know!”
Rogers tells TODAY.com that her bleary-eyed friend chose option No. 2: sleep.
“She napped for four uninterrupted hours,” Rogers says.
According to Rogers, the key is to give a variety of choices.
“When you’re in that newborn bubble and someone asks, ‘How can I help?’ You’re going to have analysis paralysis. It’s, like, where do I even begin?” Rogers explains.
The podcast host was inundated with comments.
“As someone with no kids now, but with friends who have kids, and I’m sure more to come, THANK YOU,” one person wrote.
Other reactions included:
- “Loooooove this. One other option that I would have loved postpartum is a friend to come over and watch the baby while I shower/get ready and then take cute pics of me and baby together.”
- “I also always wished someone would walk our German shepherd for us! I was healing so I couldn’t and my husband was busy helping take care of me and baby and toddler.”
- “YES!!!! Also I had someone reach out and say I’d love to make a meal, planning to bring over Monday if that works. Here’s a list of things I could make, tell me what sounds best… 1) roast chicken and potatoes, 2) salmon with dill and orzo, etc etc etc… it was so nice to say, ‘Yes Monday works and I’ll take option 3!’”
- THIS RIGHT HERE. Be specific in your offers of help and you will exponentially increase the likelihood they’ll take you up on it and that they’ll really feel the impact and benefit of it.
- "I’ve said, 'Hey I’m making you dinner this week, Monday or Wednesday, soup or enchiladas?' They’ll never answer if you say, "Let me know if you need anything.'"
This article first appeared on TODAY.com. Read more from TODAY here:
