The polite way to gift cash this holiday season, according to etiquette pros — you can even use Venmo

Every family has different gift-giving traditions — and at least one person who screws it up every year.

Maybe it's your aunt who is positive that you wear extra-large shirts despite that never being the case. Or it's your sullen teenage nephew who insists, no, there's not anything he can possibly think of that he wants this year.

In both of these cases, there is an easy solution: cash. It's the gift that no one can screw up too badly and that virtually everyone is happy to receive.

The only problem is that giving it as a gift, or asking for it, can come across as gauche if done in the wrong context.

"You're taking a little of the fun out of it," says Thomas Farley, an etiquette expert and keynote speaker known as Mister Manners. "The ritual of presenting a gift, opening a gift, and experiencing that level of surprise and hopefully delight, I think is important."

If you do it right, though, Farley and other etiquette pros say giving or receiving cash can be totally appropriate. It might even be OK to use Venmo. Here's how.

The polite way to give and receive cash

Can't possibly think of anything to get someone? If it's a close loved one who may be expecting a gift, your best bet is talking with them before stuffing a few bills into an envelope.

"If someone says, 'I never know what to get you. I'd be happier just getting you a check so you can get something you really like,' I think that's fine," Farley says.

Whether you've had the conversation beforehand or not, be sure to make any monetary gift look like a real present. "If you're going to see them, put [cash or a check] in one of those 'Happy Holiday' sleeves that's meant to have money in it," says Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas.

If it's a more distant recipient — especially a younger one — you can safely send the money digitally, she says.

"You could put it in a holiday card, but a lot of these kids aren't going to know what to do with a check," she says. "You can say, 'Check your Venmo — I'm going to put something in there.' And then put a little holiday emoji."

When it comes to receiving cash, it's a little rude to just come out and ask for it. But if someone asks you what you may want, you're right to be honest with them, says Gottsman.

"It's appropriate to say, 'If you really want to give me something I need, I could just really use whatever denomination you'd like to give me in cash,'" she says.

If money's tight or if you can't stand one more consumer item in your home, you needn't give it a second thought. But if you're on the fence, or just don't feel like coming up with a wish list, remember that asking for cash may disappoint someone who really wanted to find you the perfect thing.

"Five years from now, are you going to remember, Uncle Charlie gave me $28 for Christmas in 2024? Probably not," says Farley. "But are you going to remember, Charlie gave me this wonderful framed photograph of our excursion on the rafting trip that I see on my desk every day? You are."

"It sounds corny, but gifts you put effort into are really more meaningful."

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