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A bar is the worst place to meet a potential mate—and 4 more tips for dating successfully

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A bar is the worst place to meet a potential mate—and 4 more tips for dating successfully

Dim lighting and flowing libations make a bar feel like the perfect, low-pressure environment to meet a potential partner.

Rarely, though, is this the optimal venue at which to form lasting connections, Grace Lee, a New York City-based dating coach and founder of A Good First Date, told CNBC Make It.

"Meeting people at a bar is probably the least-interesting common denominator," she says. "What were the steps you needed to take to get where you are? You like to drink. Maybe you live in the area. And you have enough money to buy a drink. The bar is quite low for going to a bar."

A more effective way to find a partner is to fill your time with activities that are important to you. You'll not only meet more people, but more people who share your interests, Lee says.

Here are four more tips from Lee and other dating coaches on how to foster meaningful connections.

1. Ask 'support questions'

Your job on a first date is to learn about the person across from you. This might seem obvious, but almost half, 49%, of singles have been on a date where the other person didn't ask them a single personal question, according to a new report by dating app Plenty of Fish.

The best way to get to know someone is to ask open-ended questions, Blaine Anderson, an Austin, Texas-based dating coach and founder of Dating by Blaine told CNBC Make It.

Once they answer, don't use their response to talk about yourself. Instead, ask some follow-ups.

"If your date mentions they had a crazy day at work, instead of shifting the conversation to your crazy day, you can ask your date what psychologists call a 'support question,' to learn more about what made their day crazy, and how they feel," Anderson says.

2. Don't bring up exes too soon

One of the primary goals of a date is to flirt and have some fun, which can only really happen if both parties are comfortable. Prying about an ex is unlikely put someone at ease, Anderson says.

"The only category of questions I'd advise singles to avoid outright on early dates is around dating history," she says. "There's no need to bring exes into your first dates. Stay present, and focus on the here and now."

3. You can inquire about salary, but be tactful

The way a person spends, or doesn't spend, their money can indicate their priorities. And it's actually smart to discuss values early on, Kelsey Wonderlin, a dating coach based in Nashville, Tennessee, told CNBC Make It.

However, outright asking how much a person makes on a first date is not the right way, or the right time, to figure out if you two align on how you handle money.

"On a first date that would be a socially unacceptable question to ask," Wonderlin says.

There are more subtle ways to inquire about a person's financial situation. Wonderlin suggest asking: "What do you like to spend your money on?"

A person who answers that they like to go to concerts might have different priorities from someone who says they're working toward buying a house. If someone doesn't have a straightforward answer, that also indicates a specific mindset.

"If they don't have a lot to say it's like, 'Is this person even thinking the way I think?'" Wonderlin says.

4. Let the date end

The happy hour date that stretches into a dinner and then into a nightcap can be thrilling and romantic. But it can also imitate a sense of closeness that doesn't exist yet, Lee says.

"The problem with the seven-hour first date is you have this false sense of really being intimate without knowing if over time they will be consistent," she says.

A partnership requires follow-through and effort.

"As good as it feels, even if you're on the most amazing date I'd encourage people to stop after the second round of drinks," Lee says. "Leave wanting more. If the magic is there, it will lead to a second date."

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Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.

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